Blog Posts

Seasons Change, So Can We…

Just as the seasons change, your past is not your present.

As humans, it seems change doesn’t happen as naturally for us, as it does for the seasons. So what’s the difference?

We humans always have a choice, and often times we choose to live in our past, rather than fully living in the present, in the now ~body, mind, and spirit integrated in the same place at the same time.

Trust me, I know how hard it is to let go of broken dreams. I’ve struggled to surrender many of my heartaches to God.

The sudden tragic loss of my father when I was a teen. My divorce and the loss of my biggest dream in life ~ to grow old with my first husband and forever love, the father of my children.

Three years post divorce, I’ve struggled to let go, to move on, to accept that I couldn’t fix this broken dream just like I couldn’t fix the dream of having my father heal and stay alive. I so badly wanted him at my high school graduation, my wedding, and the births of my children. It has been so hard to let go, to let myself surrender these broken dreams to God.

I feel deeply and it’s okay to grieve loss for as long as we need, but for me I realized my chronic grief was hurting me more than it was helping me heal. I became stuck. I stopped living. My body was present, but my mind lived in the past trying to analyze, overthink, and find a way to fix unfixable problems.

Two lessons I’ve learned the hard way…

1) Praying someone to stay alive doesn’t always work, no matter how great your faith. Our time is not always God’s time. Our will is not always God’s will.

2) I can’t “do the work” for another to heal their past trauma, as much as I desperately want. So was the case with someone I love dearly.

I have tried to do things my own way, to do the work for others, to fix others because I could not fix my dad.

I have lived the past over and over expecting a different solution. And that, my friend, is the very definition of insanity, and why letting go of the past and surrendering our will to God/Creator/Universe is so important.

Through many years of hard life experiences, trauma counseling, and doing the healing work for myself, I have learned that change requires the same from all who want to step out of brokenness, from all who want to let go of the broken dreams of the past, from all who want to step into being your greatest empowered healthy self, the person you were always called to be.

The good news is that change is always possible. As a good therapist told me over and over, I always have choices and options!

When we find the motivation to change, it begins with a single shift in our mindset, followed by a choice, then lots of small steps, and for sure we need to celebrate all the little victories and even the failures. It is all just feedback and a learning process about ourselves, the goal being to peel the layers until we reach the core of who we truly are at the deepest level.

The most important thing I’ve learned about transformation is that we get there the fastest by slowing down, speaking our truths, and becoming our authentic selves as best we can.

Some words by recovery expert Melody Beattie have been balm to my weary, grieving soul over the last few years.

“Let go of all expectations.
Cut the strings of resentment and negativity that connect you to another.
Detach from bitterness and forgive.
Make room for love and positivity.
The universe will do what it will.

Sometimes your dream will come true,
sometimes they won’t.
Sometimes when you let go of a broken dream, another one gently takes its place“
~Melody Beattie

What broken dreams are you still holding onto? How is the continued pain serving you and/or holding you back?

It can be hard to let go of broken dreams, to let go of the past and love fully alive in the present moment, but it is possible!!!

With the help of my higher power I am doing so, and I believe you can too.

We decide if we let the past continue to be our present, like a perpetual Groundhog Day.

Or, we decide if we choose to allow each new day be a second chance to do something different, for us to be someone healthier than we were the day before.

Change is always possible.

And I believe you are worth it!

A new dream…

I’m soooo excited to share about the new dream that took root in my heart only a few months ago!

It Was this January 2021 that I received an email in my inbox about joining the Transformative Nurse Coaches.

I had never heard of nurse coaching before, but when I started reading, my heart knew instantly this is what I was always meant to do!!

I can’t wait to share more next time about what a nurse coach does!

I’m here to help co-create your transformation process. If you’d like to connect, please email nursehealingadvocate@gmail.com or comment below.

With hope and confidence,

Ruth Renee, RN

Student Nurse Coach

#ruthrenee #nursehealingadvocate #change #transformation #nursecoach #holisticnursing #lettinggo #greif #codependency #recovery #healing #trauma #wellnesscoach

Your authentic voice matters…

The most important thing I’ve learned about transformation is that we get there the quickest by slowing down, by speaking our truth in love, and by becoming who we truly are at the deepest level.

When you slow down, you can hear yourself think. You can sort the clutter of all the voices in your head until you can encounter your own.

You must let all the other voices go, and only then can you have a clear conversation with God. Only then can you discover who you really are!

For the first time, you meet your most authentic self without all the noise of the world telling you who you are and who you are to become.

You then have a choice…to share or not to share your most authentic self with the world. To be brave enough to truly be yourself, to JUST BE YOU, to speak your truth in love.

Your authentic voice matters! When you do not speak your truth, you abandon a part of yourself. It becomes harder to love all of yourself!!!

One of the most important things I’ve learned about being able to love myself is that authenticity matters! I matter!! My story matters. My authentic voice matters!!!

When you speak the truth in love, you step into being more fully alive, more fully you, more fully connected to God, grace, understanding and knowing. Knowing that this is the one life we have to live on this earth, HERE AND NOW.

When you hold back, when you shift your words to what others want to hear, a part of you dies inside, a part of your awareness fades away.

You step into living only half alive. And piece by piece, you continue to fade away, and the real you slowly dies.

If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be this…YOU MATTER, YOUR VOICE MATTERS, YOUR AUTHENTIC VOICE MATTERS, YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

I’ve been doing healing work and trusting the process of transformation for quite a few years now.

I have many regrets of who I was and how I behaved in the past, but I am not my past. The slate is wiped clean.

When we transform, we step into grace and beauty, into knowing and understanding that no one is worthy, no one is perfect.

We all make mistakes. We all lose hope.

It’s okay to let others know you struggle. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to give yourself permission to be you. I want to hear what YOU think, what YOU believe, what YOU feel, not how the world tells you to be.

I am here cheering you on. If you feel you have to hide a part of you, if you feel you can’t love yourself, or can’t let the world see ALL OF YOU, I am here cheering you on to just be you, to SPEAK YOUR TRUTH IN LOVE.

I know you can step into being you, loving you, accepting you.

I struggle with anxiety, depression, and complex PTSD. Thoughts of hating myself return from time to time, but I no longer live in the world of self-hate and abandoning myself, abandoning my voice.

I know that what I have to say is important. I know that I matter, that my authentic voice matters.

And I choose to speak the truth in love. I choose to live more fully alive each and every new day.

Today, I live in the world of hope and never giving up, the world of climbing every mountain, the world of giving myself permission to rest when I am weary and tired.

Today , I choose to step out of darkness into the light.

Will you join me?

With hope and much love,

Ruth Renee RN

Student Nurse Wellness Coach

Instagram.com/nursehealingadvocate

———————-

If you live in Texas, I am currently accepting 5 probono clients as part of my nurse coach training.

I am looking to coach women who would like to set goals and be coached around health and wellness – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, socially, financially, nothing is off limits. It’s all interconnected.

My nursing background is in adult cardiac. I have been on my own holistic transformative journey healing from trauma and autoimmune thyroid illness.

I’d love to help you achieve wellness from within. We will co-create goals and an accountability plan. I will be your biggest cheerleader along the way.

Each client will receive 5 hours of coaching in 4 sessions at no cost to you. If you’d like to be considered, please email me at nursehealingadvocate@gmail.com

The Hard Truth of Mother’s Day…

Mother’s Day….the truth is that it isn’t always so happy.

I have some resentment issues popping up around my son not wanting to go on Mother’s Day outings today, but I’m trying to look at other victories and come from a place of service and sacrifice, rather than expectation. That was me last year, and it didn’t go well. Today I choose to give my worries and painto God, so I can settle into appreciation and hope.

_______

For Mother’s Day this year, I planned ahead. I invited my kids to an outing I think we will all enjoy. Foot massages are scheduled with my daughter, and then we will get take out for a picnic at the lake, my favorite spot in the city. The place I go when I need to be in nature, when I need to clear my mind, the spot I took my kids to feed ducks when they were little. The place I took my mother to visit when she was in town for my birthday. So many wonderful memories!!!

A few days ago, I pulled out the cricut machine and the scrapbook supplies and created a homemade invite for Mother’s Day. I dropped it off for my kids at their dad’s, to let my son know the invitation is still open if he changes his mind. If not, I can respect his decision.

So while I’m sad my son is not coming, I dived into the resentment a bit deeper this morning. I released the hurt and pain. I uprooted the bitterness from my heart.

I then had space to connect with God to see the good things I have and what has changed and gotten better since last year. I looked at what is true. And I feel a little more peaceful, a little less sad. I released my worries to God, and I know that God’s timing is perfect. I know that reconciliation with my son is happening at its own pace.

______

Complex PTSD blew my family apart like a nuclear bomb, but God is putting it back together in a new way, healing the broken relationships between me and my children, reconciling hearts. He has already done it with my daughter. He brought her home just last week. His timing is perfect. And I can surrender my timing and my will to Him.

I know Mother’s Day isn’t always easy and I want you all to know I’m praying today for healing over mother-child relationships, praying for comfort for those who’ve lost their mother, for mothers who have lost children, and for those who are struggling to connect in the way they want with their mother or child. I’m praying for those who struggle with infertility. Praying peace over today for all of you wonderful imperfect humans, mothers, and children!!

My mother taught me to hold onto “Hope against Hope.” She taught me what a mother’s love is. When the time is right, when my son is ready, I know he and I will reconcile. God has brought so much healing to my family, and HE IS NOT FINISHED YET!!!

God is my anchor and he gives me the ability to love as he loves, to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things. And I’m so thankful for my mother who taught me these truths, passed on the gifts of strength, hope, love.

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:7

______

Through all of my heartache and struggle, the most important lesson I’ve learned is this….God’s love for us is so much bigger than the love with which we love our own children.

Praying you feel God’s love and healing presence today!!

Much love,

Ruth Renee

___________

Is there any small space of resentment or pain you can witness and release to clear space for hope, love, gratitude, and truth? I’d love to hear about it. ❤️

May God bless you and keep you, be a refuge for you in times of heartache and trouble.

For it is you who light my lamp; the Lord my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.” – Psalm 18:28-20 ESV

Celebrating Nurses and Teachers!!!

I’m sooo proud to be a family of nurses and teachers! 👩🏻‍⚕️ 🩺 👩🏻‍🏫

HAPPY NURSE AND TEACHER APPRECIATION WEEK!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

My mom, sister, and I celebrating another sister at her nursing graduation 5 years ago. 🩺👩🏻‍🎓

I’m so proud of @helen..of..troy for taking the leap to go back to school to obtain her degree while being a mom to 4 kids! I celebrate and honor her today! It’s never too late to go after your dreams!✨

I’m also soooo glad I decided to go back to school. I knew in my heart that nurse coaching is exactly what I am meant to do at this time in my life.❤️

I’m so grateful to be part of an amazing tribe of nurses, @thenursecoaches who seek to empower and coach others to live their healthiest and happiest lives. 🩺 👩🏻‍⚕️

I wouldn’t be who I am today without my tribe of nurses and teachers!! I’m so grateful I chose to be a nurse because I wanted to be like my mom.❤️🙏🏼🙌🏼

Nurses and teachers, it’s been a crazy hard year, and y’all are in my thoughts and prayers. Please remember it’s okay to take care of you!!! 🌸

CHEERS TO RESILIENT NURSES AND TEACHERS WHO INSPIRE HOPE!!!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Is there a teacher and/or nurse in your past or present who made a huge difference in your life? Perhaps you could take a few minutes to send them a quick thank you note.

With joy,

Ruth Renee RN

Student Nurse Coach

If you’d like to connect, I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to email me at nursehealingadvocate@gmail.com or comment below.

#gratitude #celebration #nursesday #nursesweek #nursesweek2021 #nursecoaches #nurselife #nursesrock #nurseadvocacy #nursepreneurs #teacherappreciationweek #pianoteachers #womenwhoinspire #womenwhoinspirewomen #appreciationpost #celebrationoflife #overcomingobstacles #overcomingfear #overcomingadversity #wellnesscoach #transformationcoach #healthcoach #empowermentcoach#resilientwomen #womenofhope #nurses #teachers #hopewriters #hopewriterlife #nursehealingadvocate #ruthrenee #ruthreneern

Sunsets & Restaurants…

I love it when a hard day has a peaceful ending, and I am reminded of the never ending goodness of God.

I noticed this beautiful sunset when walking my dogs.

I followed my gut to drive to a certain place for dinner.

I ran into a friend I missed and hadn’t seen in awhile.

I went to pay for my meal, and found out the person sitting next to me had grabbed my check without my knowing.

My troubled heart felt peace, joy, and loved.

God is always aware of everything I need.
He shows me I am loved, and calms my worries.
He pursues me with a reckless love so I know just how special I am.

I am grateful my eyes are no longer blind to His ever-present goodness, love, and grace. In every moment of fear that I turn to him, He is there.

With gratitude,

Ruth Renee

Written 04.17.2019

Have you ever had a hard day, week, month, or year that ended more beautifully than you ever expected?

Please share and tell me more. I’d love to hear about it via comment or email. Nursehealingadvocate@gmail.com

Thank you so much for reading! 😊

Fabulously Forty & Free…

I often struggle with feeling good enough because I haven’t reached my ideal of perfection by a self-imposed deadline. I frequently get down on myself because I’m still a work in progress.

As I approach 40, I realize that chasing perfection in this life is akin to a rabbit running on a wheel chasing a dangling carrot just out of reach.

As long as I am breathing, I will be imperfect and make mistakes. Yet my faults do not make me unlovable; they make me human.

——

I am slowly learning to be okay with my mistakes, to own them, and accept who I am, a child of God. My identity is in Him alone. That is how I find peace.

My greatest failure would be to believe I will ever be a finished masterpiece in this life. God loves me too much to ever stop helping me grow in the Holy Spirit, to ever stop helping me push beyond human limits.

My greatest strength comes not in rising on my own, but in turning to God, trusting Him, letting Him love me every time I fall. It is only in God that I am lifted above the madness of this world, that I am given real freedom.

Ruth Renee

11-15-2019

#healingdiaries #ruthrenee #godisgood #fierce #fabulous #free #childofgod #40thbirthday #40 #perfectionism #deepthoughts #freedom #peace #greatestfailure #greateststrength #lifeperspective #mylifesofar #lettinggo #grabbingholdofgod #godwithwideopenarms #prodigal son

A year can change everything…

What a difference a year and prayer makes!

I am still learning to trust God each morning, each time I feel scared.

I never asked to live with complex PTSD.

I would never wish on another living soul the nightmares, flashbacks, confusion, triggers turned into moments of terror.

But my complex PTSD reminds me I am human and can never do this life without God. It leads me to prayer and the word of God.

He comforts me and calms my wounded heart.

Today, the pain I live with humbles me, and reminds me I am only strong when I allow the Lord to carry me….the hardest truth and love for me to accept.

The pain pushes me to write, so that I may make myself and others aware of the love Jesus offers me, the most precious love of all.

I don’t always understand God’s plan for me, but I am trying to live His way by faith.

I am believing prayer works, and we are never alone.

I choose authentic over perfect.

Perfection is too great a burden to bear.

I am human. I allow myself to make mistakes, and not go into a shame spiral for it.

Admitting I can’t do it all was a hard pill to swallow.

I’m ready to do things God’s way.

Dear daughter,

Do you know that you are LOVED BEYOND MEASURE?

More than your mind can ever comprehend! Even when life gets hard, when you feel scared, alone, sad or unworthy…. please don’t ever give up.

You mean the world to me! You are my everything!

Please know 100% with all your heart, that you are IMPORTANT, WORTHY, and have GREAT IDEAS! I love your cardboard creations, online designer houses, your bold fashion statements and perfect dance moves.

You have a gift of understanding and wisdom that most kids your age don’t have. You are a good friend to people and all animals. You have just the magic touch with our puppies and chickens.

Please know when you feel your worst, when you feel you are not good enough….that you are always enough! You are BRAVE and MAKE A DIFFERENCE in this world EVERY DAY, just by BEING YOU!!!

I can’t wait to see what gift you choose to share most with the world when you grow up. Will you be a teacher, an architect, a singer, a veterinarian, an activist for the environment or animals….? The list goes on and on.

You are so very talented, and your heart is bigger than the Milky Way. You can do whatever your giant heart desires if you put in the work, and I know you can!

I see all the good desires in your heart, and will ALWAYS believe in you, and love you NO MATTER WHAT mistakes you make. Please don’t ever be afraid to be you!

You cannot succeed without making mistakes. An expert is just someone who has failed more times than a beginner has tried.

I BELIEVE IN YOU 200% with all my heart and soul.

I love, love, love you!!! XOXOXO

Love,

Mom

Rest & PTSD…

Telling the story of my past
Overcome with exhaustion
sadness, fear, and hurt

Thoughts haze and fog
Droopy eyelids blink
Head weighs heavy
Memories of trauma
Impossible to carry
Alone

Drive home safe
Collapse into bed
Open the window
Turn on the fan
Weighted blankets
Fetal position
Calves twitch
Intestines flutter
God whispers, “rest”

Weak eyelids closing
I whisper this prayer

God, I’m hurt and scared
This terror from my past
I can’t carry it alone
I need your armor
I need your love
I need you with me

Help me know
it’s safe to rest

Meet me, Jesus
in my worry
hurt and fear

Meet me, Jesus
in my room
on my bed

Make it safe
Make it safe
to sleep
to rest
to be alone

I trust you, Jesus
I surrender

Safe to rest
Safe to rest

Body, surrender
Body, rest

-Ruth Renee
05.16.2020

Follow at
http://www.ruthrenee.com

#ruthrenee #healingdiaries #rest #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #hope #healing #overcoming #recovery #traumarecovery #hopewriterlife #writer #poem #poems #trust #trustinggod #godisgood #godissafe #safe #safetorest

To everything there is a season…

God is good!! God is trustworthy! God is faithful.

It took me a long time to take steps to where I believed even the first three words, “God is good!” I have struggled to live my life being able to fully trust and love anyone, most especially myself and God.

Life hit bottom for me 2 years ago. My marriage was ending, and I was in a hospital alone far from home.

I wasn’t expecting any visitors, but I received two. The first was my husband. We got in a fight, and I told him, “don’t come back.” The next time I was told I had a visitor, I couldn’t imagine who else would have driven the hour to see me.

I was brought to tears when I saw it was my kind, new neighbor. I was surprised she had made the hour drive to see me. She sat with me, visited and listened to me, and even brought me a gift.

The gift was a turquoise, leather-bound devotional book. She didn’t know it, but turquoise was my favorite color at the time. I also found the smooth texture of the book to be very comforting during this scary time.

My new neighbor’s act of love to visit me so far away touched the deepest parts of my hurting heart in a way no one else had been able to reach.

She is a woman of deep faith, so I believed her action to stem from her willingness to follow God’s promptings.

With all the brokenness in the world, I am glad I have found my anchor and peace in Jesus Christ alone.

Even in my most broken places, God is healing me. I know He is good! When the world seems turned upside down, Jesus is the person I trust most, and run to first.

My life felt like a perpetual winter, but I am finally seeing signs of spring. God is so good to come after me and rescue me.

With hope,

Ruth Renee

#ruthrenee #healingdiaries #jesus #hope #lovethyneighbor #godisgood #spring #watercolor #healingart #cptsdrecovery #healingjourney #cptsdawareness #cptsdsurvivor #rescue