Mother’s Day….the truth is that it isn’t always so happy.
I have some resentment issues popping up around my son not wanting to go on Mother’s Day outings today, but I’m trying to look at other victories and come from a place of service and sacrifice, rather than expectation. That was me last year, and it didn’t go well. Today I choose to give my worries and painto God, so I can settle into appreciation and hope.
For Mother’s Day this year, I planned ahead. I invited my kids to an outing I think we will all enjoy. Foot massages are scheduled with my daughter, and then we will get take out for a picnic at the lake, my favorite spot in the city. The place I go when I need to be in nature, when I need to clear my mind, the spot I took my kids to feed ducks when they were little. The place I took my mother to visit when she was in town for my birthday. So many wonderful memories!!!
A few days ago, I pulled out the cricut machine and the scrapbook supplies and created a homemade invite for Mother’s Day. I dropped it off for my kids at their dad’s, to let my son know the invitation is still open if he changes his mind. If not, I can respect his decision.
So while I’m sad my son is not coming, I dived into the resentment a bit deeper this morning. I released the hurt and pain. I uprooted the bitterness from my heart.
I then had space to connect with God to see the good things I have and what has changed and gotten better since last year. I looked at what is true. And I feel a little more peaceful, a little less sad. I released my worries to God, and I know that God’s timing is perfect. I know that reconciliation with my son is happening at its own pace.
Complex PTSD blew my family apart like a nuclear bomb, but God is putting it back together in a new way, healing the broken relationships between me and my children, reconciling hearts. He has already done it with my daughter. He brought her home just last week. His timing is perfect. And I can surrender my timing and my will to Him.
I know Mother’s Day isn’t always easy and I want you all to know I’m praying today for healing over mother-child relationships, praying for comfort for those who’ve lost their mother, for mothers who have lost children, and for those who are struggling to connect in the way they want with their mother or child. I’m praying for those who struggle with infertility. Praying peace over today for all of you wonderful imperfect humans, mothers, and children!!
My mother taught me to hold onto “Hope against Hope.” She taught me what a mother’s love is. When the time is right, when my son is ready, I know he and I will reconcile. God has brought so much healing to my family, and HE IS NOT FINISHED YET!!!
God is my anchor and he gives me the ability to love as he loves, to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things. And I’m so thankful for my mother who taught me these truths, passed on the gifts of strength, hope, love.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:7
Through all of my heartache and struggle, the most important lesson I’ve learned is this….God’s love for us is so much bigger than the love with which we love our own children.
Praying you feel God’s love and healing presence today!!
Is there any small space of resentment or pain you can witness and release to clear space for hope, love, gratitude, and truth? I’d love to hear about it. ❤️
May God bless you and keep you, be a refuge for you in times of heartache and trouble.
For it is you who light my lamp; the Lord my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.” – Psalm 18:28-20 ESV