My Anchor…

I’ve written a lot about my dad on this page. I was only 15 when we lost him. My heart broke in ways I am only now comprehending.

But my mom, she is an anchor in my life. She has weathered so many storms with me and loved me through it all. We don’t have exactly the same interests, but she is the woman who taught me by example of her daily obedience…..to “trust in the Lord with ALL my heart, and to lean not unto my own understanding.”

This isn’t the best picture for a close up (phone quality y’all know) but it is one of my absolute favorites!!! She came to my need last year on my birthday, near what is always one of the hardest days and weeks of her life to remember…the day she let my father choose to come home to die, and the week we brought him home. All during Thanksgiving week.

I write from the heart, and in the moment, so my grammar isn’t always perfect here on social media. But I’m human, and that’s okay. We weren’t made to be perfect. That’s why we have a good, good God. My mom studied and highlighted her scriptures every day. She always brings her own set even on vacation. I am beginning to wonder if she ever misses a day.

This I am learning, because of HER….radical obedience brings radical Joy! I love my mom with ALL MY HEART, just like my Great Aunt Betty told me I had to do. “A-L-L – you have to surrender to God with ALL your heart. It has to be ALL. Nothing less.” I guess making it to 95 can make one pretty wise!

Mom, at 77, your age reminds me that life is ALL about forgiveness and letting go. Sorry about sharing your age, but knowing you…I know you don’t mind. Because in this broken world, you taught me to just be my authentic self. You gave me the most precious gift of all….faith by example.

I love you mom. And for any grammar nazis, this may just not be the page for you. Because these words come spilling out of my heart from the deepest place of love. And once I feel them, I can’t wait a second longer to share them with those I love. And my mom showed me being perfect is the least important thing in the world.

Mom, I love you so much. ♥️

Ruth Renee

11-20-2018

#healingdiaries #ruthrenee #loveyourmother

Let your love be greater than your fear…

“Let your love be greater than your fear.”

In this moment, I feel a calm peace in my heart after feeling the pain of what felt like a heart attack….a stabbing tightness in my chest, accompanied by anxiety and fear.

In order for my heart to stop hurting, I had to let myself be still. I had to breathe deeply to find the place in my heart where love is greater than fear.

I’ve done a lot of trauma and grief work these last few years. It’s been a roller coaster. I’ve cried and panicked a lot, but I’ve also been smiling bigger and laughing more, letting others love me more, accepting I can’t do it all alone.

The key has been to let go, surrender, and let real love in, something very difficult for me. Real love can be scary, because I know the pain of losing it at a young age.

I am stubborn. I don’t always ask for help. I make a lot of mistakes. I push others away. So, if you’ve been determined enough to love me anyway, I just have to say this now….

Thank you for opening your heart to me.

Thank you for sharing a piece of your soul .

Thank you for encouraging me and praying for me.

Thank you for being a part of my soul journey.

Thank you for helping me find my way back to love.

Just Breathe…

Let go of anger.
Let go of resentment.
Let go of negativity.
Let go of fear.

Let obsession and worry go.

They lock you into suffering and pain.

Breathe in gratitude.
Breathe out hope.
Breathe in faith.
Breathe out love.

Hold space until you can feel God within.

I promise freedom and grace.

The peace that surpasses all understanding will come.

Your breath is powerful.
God will meet you where you are.
Your breath is a great place to start!

🙏