What is love?

A year ago, I had this counselor who gave me a writing challenge.

She asked me this simple question, “What is love to you?”

These are the words that came pouring out of my heart…

Love is noticing the little things. @nursehealingadvocate

What is love?

Love is…

Noticing the little things

Sideways glances, silly smirks

Playful winks across the room

Saying my name with tenderness and joy

Spending time connecting with me

Walking, talking, laughing, joking

Snuggling on the couch

to watch a movie or our favorite show

read books together

just talk and listen with our whole hearts

dancing together in the kitchen

encouraging each other often

to chase our passions and dreams

texting and calling just to say,

“I miss you” – “I love you” – “I believe in you!” –

“You’ve got this!” – How can I love you today?”,

__________________

Love is knowing me

And not knowing just about me

But knowing who I authentically am

Knowing what makes me tick

My likes, my dislikes

My victory, my disgrace

And still…

Wanting and needing to be with me

Love is letting me know all of you

Your strengths, your weaknesses

Your hopes, your heartaches and despair

Love is letting me in, trusting me

In the most fragile, vulnerable sense

Love is coming together

As a united front

Seeking something beyond ourselves and our love

Love is…

Praying, hoping, and worrying with me

Forgiving me when I do you wrong

Apologizing when you do me wrong

Enduring life with me through it all

Love is a choice that must be made each new day. @nursehealingadvocate

Love is patient, kind, and believes the best

Love not only melds time and space

Love binds and fuses hearts in the deepest sense

Love is hearing me, seeing me, understanding me

feeling me before you touch me

And me also being that person for you

Seeing you, hearing, you, understanding you

Love is caressing my face softly

Just because you love to be near me

You love to touch me sweetly and gently

And our love is more than a feeling

Love is choosing to hold on to “hope against hope”

even when love feels stagnant, hard, or hopeless

Holding on to God until the difficult moments pass

Believing and trusting they will

if only we “be still and know”

Serving each other and others

Love is seeking God with me

as we grow in grace

Love is never giving up on growth

Love is never giving up on yourself, God, or each other

Love is not a return on your investment

But love seeks to invest without thought of return

Love seeks to be of service without recompense

Love seeks to lay down your life for your beloved

Love is unfailingly choosing to be on the same team

Fighting together for those you love

__________________

Love is a choice

That must be made each new day.

Love is letting go of the past

Love is wiping the slate clean

Starting fresh each new day

True love is choosing to forgive

“Love keeps no record of wrongs”

from day to day

Love is never giving up in the belief of the goodness in your beloved

Because of the ultimate goodness of God

The light that never fades

The love that leads to hope

Our ever present refuge

Love is choosing to surrender our pride for the higher good

Taking the first steps to trust again

In this world without peace or rest

The God of grace alone is the way

__________________

With hope and faith,

Ruth Renee

09.07.2020

I would love to know, “What is love to you?”

Please like and follow, or leave a comment below. I can be emailed at nursehealingadvocate@gmail.com.

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A Christian prayer for nurses and teachers everywhere…

God, thank you for nurses and teachers everywhere. Thank you for their good hearts and kind souls, their desire to help others heal and learn.

Thank you for their friendship and for their wisdom. Thank you for their boldness and their desire to fight for what is right, no matter what comes their way.

Thank you God for your mercy and grace. Thank you for sacrificing everything in order to love us well.

God, your people are TIRED. Their hearts are GRIEVED, overwhelmed with DISCONTENT at work and in the world. It is exhausting and they are not receiving the support they need. They are worn down and BURNED OUT. They need your strength and your peace Lord. Please shower our AMAZING teachers, nurses, educators, and healthcare workers with your abundant STRENGTH, peace, passion, and joy. Fill them all with your perfect LOVE, with the PEACE that surpasses all understanding, with the HOPE that never fails or fades away.” ✨

Bless us in all your ways as we go throughout our days blessing the lives of others. May the meditations of our hearts and the words upon our lips be pleasing to you, God. May we DELIGHT in you Lord, and focus on you! May we commit our ways to the Lord and you will do it!! You will give us the desires of our hearts as we abide and trust in you.

May you supernaturally recharge their spirits, bodies, minds, and souls. May they stand strong in the face of adversity and not be shaken. Yes, let nothing shake them at work today, tomorrow, and the next. Let them carry your presence and your peace. May they carry peace and hope to to their patients and students. Clothe them with the whole armor of God. Give them your zeal and your might. May they trust in you with all their hearts, leaning not unto their own understanding.

Peace be still! Calm the waves of the sea at our places of work today. Give us boldness and courage in our voices while you also fill us with love and whisper wisdom. Yes bless us lord, even unto 1000 generations. Bless us and keep us, make your face shine upon us throughout all of our days. Place a hedge of protection around us and May the yokes upon ours backs be those of peace. Comfort our broken hearts and be near to us today as we care for ourself and others.

God. May you look after those nurses and teachers who are losing their jobs. Bless them with your abundance. Show them the next right steps. Be a light on their path to show them the way to new beginnings, perhaps in ways that will lead to greater healing for our world. Thank you for all that you do, for never leaving us.

Thank you lord for your goodness. Thank you lord for your boldness, your wisdom and will. Even, thank you for your gentleness. We love you, and seek to praise you and honor your name. Fill our hearts with more of you, and less of the world. Set a boundary line of protection around our hearts. Renew our energy and repair any energy leaks. May we rest in you and abide in your peace and your truth!! In your beautiful name we pray, amen! 🙏❤️✨

Warmly,

Ruth Renee RN

Please fill the COMMENTS with much needed PRAYER for nurses and teachers, parents and caregivers! Whatever your faith, whatever your belief, may we come together in unity through the prayers of our individual faiths! All are welcome here. 🙏🏼❤️

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Do not go gently into the night…

Growing up, I was seen by others as the shy, QUIET kid. I was introspective. I was a deep thinker, but I was not quiet. Maybe with strangers who didn’t know me. But with my family, I was carefree, loud, even rambunctious at times!!

I am who God says I am. @nursehealingadvocate

For too much of my life, I let others define me. It took years of healing and separating myself from the crowd in order for me to realize that it’s okay to speak up when I see things differently. It’s okay to speak my truth. It’s okay to be different.

Last week, I made a bold decision to speak the truth at an even louder level. And ever since then, I have felt MORE FREE to be even less quiet and speak more of my truth! I am who God says I am, not how others perceive me.

And I am BOLD! I am STRONG! I AM COURAGEOUS!!

Be strong and courageous. @nursehealingadvocate

I choose to be seen and heard! I am safe to be seen and heard. I honor the part of me that remained QUIET in order to remain SAFE, but staying quiet no longer keeps me safe. I CHOOSE FREEDOM AND PEACE by BOLDLY SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE!!

I will not go gently or silently into the night. Shame lives in the silence, in the dark. I choose to let light shine out of darkness. I choose to rage against the dying light.

Will you JOIN me?

Will you join me? @nursehealingadvocate

“Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

Do not go gentle into that good night ~ Dylan Thomas

To my reader, where has being quiet held you back? Where can you give yourself permission to speak up, to boldly speak the truth in love, to “rage against the dying of the light?”

If you’re interested in becoming a more assertive advocate for yourself, please email me at nursehealingadvocate@gmail.com. I would LOVE to coach you!

“Do not go gentle into that good night,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”
~ Dylan Thomas

http://www.ruthrenee.com 🌺
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What I would tell my younger self…

Looking back at my 6th grade self receiving an achievement award, I wish I could have understood my lovability was not based on what I achieved or didn’t achieve.

I am telling my younger self now, I am lovable because I am a creation of God.

I was and am just as He created me to be. Wherever I am, He meets me there. All God wants is my heart.

There is nothing I can do or not do to change this divine truth. It’s taken me a long time to see truth.

Only by allowing God’s love, mercy, and grace into my heart, could the deep pains I’ve carried since childhood begin to heal.

Only then could the lies be removed, and replaced with truth that I am love. Nothing can ever change this truth.

I praise God that He got through to me, that I remembered He is trustworthy, long enough to let down my guard, to let Him in to my heart to heal me.

God is the Master Healer and only true source of life and love. Any healing, growth, success, and light you see in me, I give all the credit to Him! He saved me. He healed me.

With hope and much love,

Ruth Renee RN

Student Nurse Wellness Coach

What miracles have happened in your life? Who has helped you heal? I’d love to hear more in the comments below, or you can email me ~ nursehealingadvocate@gmail.com

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Your authentic voice matters…

The most important thing I’ve learned about transformation is that we get there the quickest by slowing down, by speaking our truth in love, and by becoming who we truly are at the deepest level.

When you slow down, you can hear yourself think. You can sort the clutter of all the voices in your head until you can encounter your own.

You must let all the other voices go, and only then can you have a clear conversation with God. Only then can you discover who you really are!

For the first time, you meet your most authentic self without all the noise of the world telling you who you are and who you are to become.

You then have a choice…to share or not to share your most authentic self with the world. To be brave enough to truly be yourself, to JUST BE YOU, to speak your truth in love.

Your authentic voice matters! When you do not speak your truth, you abandon a part of yourself. It becomes harder to love all of yourself!!!

One of the most important things I’ve learned about being able to love myself is that authenticity matters! I matter!! My story matters. My authentic voice matters!!!

When you speak the truth in love, you step into being more fully alive, more fully you, more fully connected to God, grace, understanding and knowing. Knowing that this is the one life we have to live on this earth, HERE AND NOW.

When you hold back, when you shift your words to what others want to hear, a part of you dies inside, a part of your awareness fades away.

You step into living only half alive. And piece by piece, you continue to fade away, and the real you slowly dies.

If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be this…YOU MATTER, YOUR VOICE MATTERS, YOUR AUTHENTIC VOICE MATTERS, YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

I’ve been doing healing work and trusting the process of transformation for quite a few years now.

I have many regrets of who I was and how I behaved in the past, but I am not my past. The slate is wiped clean.

When we transform, we step into grace and beauty, into knowing and understanding that no one is worthy, no one is perfect.

We all make mistakes. We all lose hope.

It’s okay to let others know you struggle. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to give yourself permission to be you. I want to hear what YOU think, what YOU believe, what YOU feel, not how the world tells you to be.

I am here cheering you on. If you feel you have to hide a part of you, if you feel you can’t love yourself, or can’t let the world see ALL OF YOU, I am here cheering you on to just be you, to SPEAK YOUR TRUTH IN LOVE.

I know you can step into being you, loving you, accepting you.

I struggle with anxiety, depression, and complex PTSD. Thoughts of hating myself return from time to time, but I no longer live in the world of self-hate and abandoning myself, abandoning my voice.

I know that what I have to say is important. I know that I matter, that my authentic voice matters.

And I choose to speak the truth in love. I choose to live more fully alive each and every new day.

Today, I live in the world of hope and never giving up, the world of climbing every mountain, the world of giving myself permission to rest when I am weary and tired.

Today , I choose to step out of darkness into the light.

Will you join me?

With hope and much love,

Ruth Renee RN

Student Nurse Wellness Coach

Instagram.com/nursehealingadvocate

http://www.ruthrenee.com

The Hard Truth of Mother’s Day…

Mother’s Day….the truth is that it isn’t always so easy.

I have some resentment issues popping up around my son not wanting to go on Mother’s Day outings today, but I’m trying to look at other victories and come from a place of service and sacrifice, rather than expectation. That was me last year, and it didn’t go well. Today I choose to give my worries and painto God, so I can settle into appreciation and hope.

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For Mother’s Day this year, I planned ahead. I invited my kids to an outing I think we will all enjoy. Foot massages are scheduled with my daughter, and then we will get take out for a picnic at the lake, my favorite spot in the city. The place I go when I need to be in nature, when I need to clear my mind, the spot I took my kids to feed ducks when they were little. The place I took my mother to visit when she was in town for my birthday. So many wonderful memories!!!

A few days ago, I pulled out the cricut machine and the scrapbook supplies and created a homemade invite for Mother’s Day. I dropped it off for my kids at their dad’s, to let my son know the invitation is still open if he changes his mind. If not, I can respect his decision.

So while I’m sad my son is not coming, I dived into the resentment a bit deeper this morning. I released the hurt and pain. I uprooted the bitterness from my heart.

I then had space to connect with God to see the good things I have and what has changed and gotten better since last year. I looked at what is true. And I feel a little more peaceful, a little less sad. I released my worries to God, and I know that God’s timing is perfect. I know that reconciliation with my son is happening at its own pace.

______

Complex PTSD blew my family apart like a nuclear bomb, but God is putting it back together in a new way, healing the broken relationships between me and my children, reconciling hearts. He has already done it with my daughter. He brought her home just last week. His timing is perfect. And I can surrender my timing and my will to Him.

I know Mother’s Day isn’t always easy and I want you all to know I’m praying today for healing over mother-child relationships, praying for comfort for those who’ve lost their mother, for mothers who have lost children, and for those who are struggling to connect in the way they want with their mother or child. I’m praying for those who struggle with infertility. Praying peace over today for all of you wonderful imperfect humans, mothers, and children!!

My mother taught me to hold onto “Hope against Hope.” She taught me what a mother’s love is. When the time is right, when my son is ready, I know he and I will reconcile. God has brought so much healing to my family, and HE IS NOT FINISHED YET!!!

God is my anchor and he gives me the ability to love as he loves, to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things. And I’m so thankful for my mother who taught me these truths, passed on the gifts of strength, hope, love.

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:7

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Through all of my heartache and struggle, the most important lesson I’ve learned is this….God’s love for us is so much bigger than the love with which we love our own children.

Praying you feel God’s love and healing presence today!!

Much love,

     Ruth Renee RN

     Student Nurse Wellness Coach

Is there any small space of resentment or pain you can witness and release to clear space for hope, love, gratitude, and truth? ❤️

May God bless you and keep you, and be a refuge for you in times of heartache and trouble.

For it is you who light my lamp; the Lord my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.” – Psalm 18:28-20 ESV

Seasons Change, So Can We…

Just as the seasons change, your past is not your present.

As humans, it seems change doesn’t happen as naturally for us, as it does for the seasons. So what’s the difference?

We humans always have a choice, and often times we choose to live in our past, rather than fully living in the present, in the now ~body, mind, and spirit integrated in the same place at the same time.

Trust me, I know how hard it is to let go of broken dreams. I’ve struggled to surrender many of my heartaches to God.

The sudden tragic loss of my father when I was a teen. My divorce and the loss of my dream in life to grow old with my first love.

I struggled to let go, to move on, to accept that I couldn’t fix this broken dream just like I couldn’t fix the dream of having my father heal and stay alive. I so badly wanted my dad with me to celebrate my graduations, my wedding, the births of my children. It has been so hard to let go, to let myself surrender these broken dreams to God.

I feel deeply and it’s okay to grieve loss for as long as we need, but for me I realized my chronic grief was hurting me more than it was helping me heal. I became stuck. I stopped living. My body was present, but my mind lived in the past trying to analyze, overthink, and find a way to fix unfixable problems.

Two lessons I’ve learned the hard way…

1) Praying someone to stay alive doesn’t always work, no matter how great your faith. Our time is not always God’s time. Our will is not always God’s will.

2) I can’t “do the work” for another to heal their past trauma, as much as I desperately want. I can’t change anyone except myself.

I have tried to do things my own way, to do the work for others, to fix others because I could not fix my dad.

I have lived the past over and over expecting a different solution. And that, my friend, is the very definition of insanity, and why letting go of the past and surrendering our will to God is so important.

Through many years of hard life experiences, trauma counseling, and doing the healing work for myself, I have learned that change requires the same from all who want to step out of brokenness, from all who want to let go of the broken dreams of the past, from all who want to step into being your greatest empowered healthy self, the person you were always called to be.

The good news is that change is always possible. As a good therapist told me over and over, I always have choices and options!

When we find the motivation to change, it begins with a single shift in our mindset, followed by a choice, then lots of small steps, and for sure we need to celebrate all the little victories and even the failures. It is all just feedback and a learning process about ourselves, the goal being to peel the layers until we reach the core of who we truly are at the deepest level.

The most important thing I’ve learned about transformation is that we get there the fastest by slowing down, speaking our truths, and becoming our authentic selves as best we can.

Some words by recovery expert Melody Beattie have been balm to my weary, grieving soul over the last few years.

“Let go of all expectations.
Cut the strings of resentment and negativity that connect you to another.
Detach from bitterness and forgive.
Make room for love and positivity.
The universe will do what it will.

Sometimes your dream will come true,
sometimes they won’t.
Sometimes when you let go of a broken dream, another one gently takes its place“
~Melody Beattie

It can be hard to let go of broken dreams, to let go of the past and love fully alive in the present moment, but it is possible!!!

With the help of my higher power I am doing so, and I believe you can too.

We decide if we let the past continue to be our present, like the perpetual Groundhog Day movie.

Or, we decide if we choose to allow each new day be a fresh start to do something different, for us to be someone healthier than we were the day before.

Change is always possible!!

And I believe you are worth it!

With hope and confidence,

Ruth Renee, RN

Student Nurse Coach

Are there any broken dreams you are struggling to let go? What have you learned because of the struggle?

If you’d like to connect, please email nursehealingadvocate@gmail.com or comment below.

——

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Set free…

Trapped words set free
My time is now
To verbalize what happened
The story of my life
symbolism in everything
Understanding God, truth, poetry
my gift, my talent, my identity

Seeds not buried under a rock
But planted in good soil
Watered enough to grow
Sprout and blossom
Rise up as a sapling tree
Young, small at first
Growing mature, tall, strong
A mighty live oak
Reaching up to the blue, blue sky
A mighty live oak
Filled with leaves year round
Sometimes needing pruning
Always bearing green, green leaves

Thank you, God
For sending me believers
Who showed me who You are
I learned who I really am
I accept the gifts and talents
You gave me before I was born
I am finding my purpose, my calling
My words no longer hidden
My talents no longer buried under a rock

I let go of guilt and shame
I cast my cares on you
Because you care for me
More than I will ever know
It is time now
My time is now
Trapped words set free
Trapped words set free

©RuthRenee
05.17.2020

With hope,

Ruth Renee

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