Rest & PTSD…

Telling the story of my past
Overcome with exhaustion
sadness, fear, and hurt

Thoughts haze and fog
Droopy eyelids blink
Head weighs heavy
Memories of trauma
Impossible to carry
Alone

Drive home safe
Collapse into bed
Open the window
Turn on the fan
Weighted blankets
Fetal position
Calves twitch
Intestines flutter
God whispers, “rest”

Weak eyelids closing
I whisper this prayer

God, I’m hurt and scared
This terror from my past
I can’t carry it alone
I need your armor
I need your love
I need you with me

Help me know
it’s safe to rest

Meet me, Jesus
in my worry
hurt and fear

Meet me, Jesus
in my room
on my bed

Make it safe
Make it safe
to sleep
to rest
to be alone

I trust you, Jesus
I surrender

Safe to rest
Safe to rest

Body, surrender
Body, rest

-Ruth Renee
05.16.2020

Follow at
http://www.ruthrenee.com

#ruthrenee #healingdiaries #rest #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #hope #healing #overcoming #recovery #traumarecovery #hopewriterlife #writer #poem #poems #trust #trustinggod #godisgood #godissafe #safe #safetorest

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Ruth Renee

I was raised Mormon, but left Mormonism in my 30s. At 40, I simply believe in a personal relationship with Jesus. He abides in me as I abide in His word, the Bible. I was born and raised in Southern California. I attended BYU in Utah and graduated with a BSN RN. I lived in Michigan and worked as a nurse there and when my ex-husband and I moved to Texas with our first child, a son. My second child, a daughter is Texas born and raised through and through. I love Texas. Been in Dallas for 13 years. Being a California girl, I must vacation to the beach every summer. I love gardening, exploring, simply being outdoors in nature, especially with the mature trees and large bodies of water. Beside writing, I enjoy photography, modern calligraphy, painting. I love to teach my children, and encourage them in their creative endeavors. God closed the door on my nursing career about 7 years ago. During those years, God has been healing me from childhood trauma. In the past 2 years since Jesus came after me, my life has been transformed! I live my life one day at a time, always seeking spiritual growth and closeness to God. It took nearly 40 years for me to come to believe I could trust God,and in turn, flern to trust myself. No matter what happens, I know God is with me, so I move forward with faith, hope, and joy!

2 thoughts on “Rest & PTSD…”

  1. God has given us a promise in Psalm 4:8. I claim this promise each night just before I fall asleep. “In peace I will both lie down and sleep, For Thou alone, O Lord, dost make me to dwell in safety”.

    Like

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